1. |
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[Verse 1: Wilbur]
Well, it's 2:45 p.m.
Wake up from snoring, open DMs
Can of Red Bull by the bed
Vape is charged and Snapchat's read
What's popping?
What's popping?
She's beauty, she's grace
She has a profile picture of an anime girl's face
Just a single message more
Sends her rubbing up my ethernet cord
I wanna be the guy
That you fall asleep on call with
I'll make you forget
Every guy that came before me
'Cause I like you
And you like my attention
Let's skip to the good bit
Let's consummate our internet connection
[Chorus: Wilbur]
I'm in love with an
I'm in love with an
I'm in love with an
With an e-girl
I'm in love with an
I'm in love with an
I'm in love with an
With an e-girl
[Verse 2: Wilbur]
Mom took away my PS4
So I punched a hole through my bedroom wall
I'm not aggressive
I just ooze masculine passion
Did you know I've also got depression?
I'm self-diagnosed, thought I should mention
I thought you could be the one to fix me
[Pre-Chorus: Chevy]
I wanna be the girl
That you fall asleep on call with
Meanwhile, I'll
Find other people to talk with
'Cause you like me
And I think you're a maniac
Let's skip to the good bit
Let's completely block all contact
[Chorus: Wilbur]
I'm in love with an
I'm in love with an
I'm in love with an
With an e-girl
I'm in love with an
I'm in love with an
I'm in love with an
With an e-girl
[Monologue: Wilbur]
Mom took away my PS4
I've said it so many times before
How can I live on if I keep on collecting
These every little slights and insurrections?
Constant pain in every dimension
My body weeps
Disbelief heads suspension
(I'm in love with a, with an e-girl)
[Outro: Wilbur]
I wanna be the guy
That you find stalking your affections
Your social media scoured
You seek police interventions
'Cause I base my
Ideals on obsessive media
Maybe if I act like them
You'll respond to my DMs
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2. |
Internet Ruined Me
04:15
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[Intro: Chevy]
Hmm-mmm, mmm-mmm
Hmm-mmm, mmm-mmm
[Verse 1: Wilbur]
My keyboard's like my heart
It shines in RGB and it's full of blood
I don't know what is wrong with me
But I'm scared, pissed off, and lonely (Horny)
I have trouble speaking to women
Unless they're 2D or high definition
Spend all my time on social media
This is the state that I'm in
[Verse 2: Wilbur]
My Twitter feed's like my brain
'Cause I have it on dark mode
Memorize everything she says
So I can use it to guess her passcode
She's beauty, she's grace
She has a profile picture of her gorgeous face
To try and get more sponsors
To try and get more sponsors
[Chorus: Wilbur, Chevy, both]
But why don't you care?
I've spent the past ten years of my life making you prepared
You're political enough but not contrary
Sexual enough but not enough to scare me
Give me a reason not to be on my knees
The internet has ruined me
Hmm-mmm
[Verse 3: Wilbur]
Look, I know I must sound insane
But that's part of the package
If she can't handle me at my worst
She don't deserve my mental baggage
I know you want six-foot-four
But one foot more and I'd almost be tall enough
To reach the high shelf, be your incel
I think I might be a threat to myself
A threat to myself
[Chorus: Wilbur, Chevy]
But why does she run?
When I'm monthly giving her fifty percent of my income
It feels like my ideas of affection
Are based around artificial perfection
I just want to appease
That the internet has ruined me
Hmm-mmm, mmm-mmm
Hmm-mmm, mmm-mmm
[Outro: Wilbur & Chevy]
We used to sleep on call together
We used to sleep on call together
We used to sleep on call together
We used to sleep on call together
We used to sleep on call together
We used to sleep on call together
We used to sleep on call together
We used to sleep
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3. |
Your New Boyfriend
03:59
|
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[Verse 1: Wilbur ]
Life isn't quite what I thought I'd be
When I was a kid on VOIP
I thought when I get older
I'd marry her, I told her
Now I'm twenty-six and I work in an office
Nine till five's not the best, I'll be honest
If I could change a single thing
I'd make it me and not him
[Chorus: Wilbur]
But he's in your bed, I'm in your Twitch chat
I've got the key and he's just a doormat
And even though he's got social skills
That doesn't mean I can't pay the bills
Anyway, make the most of him
'Cause she moves on pretty bloody quick, oh-oh
Your new boyfriend's an arsehole
(Woo)
[Verse 2: Wilbur]
And yeah, I've met Jared (Of course I've met Jared)
The one who took you away from me
You hit it off instantly
I know, 'cause you won't stop telling me
I've seen his jawline, shoulders, and muscles
Push against his fashion sense
I've thought about what he looks like nude
I'm not gay, though
[Bridge: Wilbur, Chevy]
'Cause she's living the dream (Living the dream, living the dream)
Oh, she's living the dream
From back when we were seventeen
She's living the dream (Living the dream, living the dream)
Oh, she's living the dream
From back when we were seventeen
[Verse 3: Wilbur]
How on earth could I be saved?
When I'm one click away from insane
I just think that I deserve
A little bit of what I earned
I'm not gonna make another scene
The one I made when I was twenty-three
Means I'm not allowed in Disney World
[Chorus: Wilbur]
But he's in your bed, and I'm in your Twitch chat
I've got the key and he's just a doormat
'Cause even though he's got social skills
That doesn't mean I can't pay the bills
Anyway, make the most of him
'Cause she moves on pretty bloody quick, oh-oh
Your new boyfriend's an arsehole
[Outro: Wilbur, Chevy, Both]
I think about you every day (Every day)
So how on earth can I be saved? (Can I be saved?)
I think about him a lot as well (I think about him)
Maybe if he wasn't fine as hell (He's really fine as hell)
'Cause you're beauty
And you're grace (And you're grace)
Your telephone calls are my favourite place
And I want you to notice me
With no restraining order, please (Jason Derulo)
I want you to care
I want to smell your hair
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Wilbur Music Brighton, UK
Will Gold, known professionally as Wilbur Soot, is a British internet personality, Twitch streamer, and singer-songwriter. He first became known in 2017 for his work with the group comedy YouTube channel SootHouse, where he made recurring appearances and was the lead editor and a co-founder. ... more
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